The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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