Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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