She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
