I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
