She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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