to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize