Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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