I think my vagina is haunted
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
