OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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