For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
