Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
