My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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