...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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