Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Can I color on your dick again?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
