I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
