He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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