those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
