I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
