There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize