She's like a pop up book from hell.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
