well I can't set my house on fire every night
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
