How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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