; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
