I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
