How's work?
Spinning.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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