Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
should my penis look like a turkey
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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