i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
