Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
