I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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