I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
