I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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