what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
