I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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