So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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