It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
