Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
