Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
