either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
