This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
