I hate all girls vehemently.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
