A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm sobbing to NWA
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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