Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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