a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
