I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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