I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
