so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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