My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
