Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you had me at cake vodka
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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