i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize