fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
