put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Is it because I queefed?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
