Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
