don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
