are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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