i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
