Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
