i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
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I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
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Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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