I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This is my gift to your gina
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
