I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
