now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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