Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
