I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
