You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I am midnight drunk by noon
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
