ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
